Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Scenester Douchetard of the Week: Craig Brown

"Ironic mustache rides for a dollar!"

Craig Brown, you sure have a full dance card. You perform with Terrible Twos, The Mahonies, FASHION, Brownstown Gals, and Kelly Jean Caldwell. Your omnipresence on the scene has truly cemented yourself a place in it. All those poseurs with their one band and one band only shtick need to take a lesson from you.

When most people are performing on stage, they sweat profusely and become dehydrated. They often feel the need to replenish fluids between songs. Not you, Craig Brown. You’re so flush with fluids you spit all over the stage as you perform. Your super secretion skills are a wonder to behold. There are many doctors at the Mayo Clinic who’d like to study you, but you wouldn’t be caught dead with that crowd.

Craig Brown, for all these reason and more, you are Broke in Detroit’s Scenester Douchetard of the Week.


  1. So, I don't understand why this makes Craig a "douchetard". I mean the title is an insult but. Your write up is just kinda positive. You bash him because he's creative and likes to be in a handful of bands? I just don't get it I guess...

  2. claig is a stink hes my roomate

  3. who ever wrote and thought this of craig can stoned to death, whoever wrote this about zack should be knighted and given a handful of hot sluty hookers

  4. The ribbing of Craig here is pretty mild. I'm guessing he probably thought it was funny.

    Hot slutty hookers please!