Theatre Bizarre’s Halloween party is coming up! October 23rd! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! It’s the best Halloween party ever! People from other continents will fly all the way over here just to be at this party. Did you manage to get a ticket before they sold out after just three days? They were pretty pricey this year. It was $55 a ticket for the first 500 sold, and $65 a ticket for the other 2000. That’s got to add up to quite a lot.
Let’s do the math. I’ll make sure to show my work so that the teacher won’t take any points away from me:
(500 X $55) + (2000 X $65)
$27,500 + $130,000
Theatre Bizarre has grossed a lot of money. It’s great that a local event is so successful. I just can’t understand why Theatre Bizarre is playing the role of the pauper. Here’s a compilation of pleadings made by the Theatre Bizarre people over Facebook (done in the character of a zombie or something):
Theatre Bizarre Here we go... To all those who've pledged their loyalty to Zombo... To every one of you who has professed a desire to be a part of our unforgiving bitch goddess... your time has come. Beginning this Thursday, we will need bodies EVERY night; men and women who are prepared to work for the greater bad. Add your blood a...nd sweat to the unholy, pulsing body that is Theatre Bizarre. Learn what it is to truly be inside.
After you’ve done your part and volunteered for Theatre Bizarre, try to find the time to help billionaire slumlord Matty Maroun clean the interior of his giant relic. There just aren’t enough people pitching in and doing their part in this city.
Or you could just tell Matty Moroun to buy his own god damn woodchips.