Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Scenester Douchetard of the Week: Margaret Doll Rod's Boobs


Margaret Doll Rod's Boobs...after posting the above photo, I completely forgot what I was about to type.

I profusely apologize for calling you a douchetard. If you can bring yourself to forgive this slight to your honor, I'll forgive you for all the times I walked right into a sign post as a result of being spellbound by your mystical mammary voodoo. I'm baffled as to why reproductions of your likeness are not worshiped in shrines across the world. If the cavemen had the privilege of beholding your loveliness, they never would have even bothered with that hideous ogre, the Venus of Willendorf.

Margaret Doll Rod's Boobs, in light of all your awesome jiggliness, you are Broke in Detroit's Scenester Douchetard of the Week Most Revered Anatomy Ever.

195 comments:

  1. Now this is just starting to remind me of high school shit. Boobs are cool and all, but seriously?

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  2. If you're looking for class and high art commentary, blogs aren't the place for it.

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  3. clever.
    just not into geeky guys that don't get any spouting negativity about a scene they wish they were in.

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  4. Stay out of this Margaret! This is between me and your boobs.

    Seriously though, did I actually manage to get the attention of the real Margaret Doll Rod? That would make this the 2nd time I've been able to elicit a response from the subject of a post.

    "just not into geeky guys that don't get any"
    Yes, my 2 posts a month on average are the result of complete celibacy, and also the reason for its continuance. I'll soon start construction on the Broke in Detroit Monastery.

    "spouting negativity about a scene they wish they were in." To conclude that criticism must be the result of envy is narcissistic. An attribute that often pops up in this scene, and needs to be property mocked, along with hypocrisy and cliquishness. Keep in mind that I don't criticize the music content, and that some of my posts have no meaning or sincerity at all. I'm surprised how thin skinned people embedded in the scene can be. Further proof that it's too insular.

    You'll have to excuse the peasants (the people who have to pay any time they want to get in to a show, often the minority of the audience) if they get rowdy from time to time.

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  5. Those are nice cans.

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  6. Not concluding that all criticism is the result of envy. Just much of yours.

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  7. So envy must be the reason for criticism, but only if it relates to your clique. Narcissism.

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  8. Yeah, my clique. Because I have one. Yep - I'm super popular. I get into every show this side of I-275 for free because of my coolness. Now that how popular I am is out of the way, I gotta say I just find the Detroit music scene (especially apart from the hipster douchetards) to be a lot better than many places I've lived and I try to support it and not be negative about it. It's easy enough to avoid the people you've taken digs at. Any and all bullshit you describe on this here blog - some of which I agree with and am equally as annoyed with - is present in every large U.S. city (and beyond, for that matter).
    All negativity and no useful information. It's like a damn high school tabloid. Which leads me to believe you have way too much time on your hands, with which you could potentially be part of the scene you prefer to watch and critique from afar.
    Perhaps you are the epitome of hipster douchetards yourself and this blog is self-deprecating. Perhaps you are really Troy Gregory and have been in the thick of it all for years. At any rate, there's a million things that need to get done around here to make it a better place. Being a Negative Nancy just makes you look insecure. Just the perception on the street. Peace.

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  9. We had such an fascinating exchange about the objectivity of reviews on the local level, and a few little jokes about boobs make you turn on me.

    I think you underestimate the extent to which guestlist abuse causes people to opt out and stay home. When a small venue has a guestlist with as many names as a medium or large venue, and you add in all the people who are on the unofficial everyday guestlist of that place, it gets fucking ridiculous.

    High school tabloid? This all resembled a high school well before I had a blogger account. For the most part, I'm only drawing on knowledge that's widely available (and usually already reported on), or affectations that come off as forced or transparent. Whether or not I knew of the reasons for Silverghost's breakup, I wouldn't have mentioned it. Even I have some standards. It's easy enough to avoid music which I find to be awful, which is why I don't opine on music here. However it's not always as easy to avoid douchetards that are over-reported, and over-represented when they're not on the stage.

    There are plenty of outlets for useful information. I have links to several of them. Regardless of whether other cities have more bullshit or not, the people around here often act like Stepford wives. They go along with everything, and are afraid to speak out and tell people when they need to get the fuck over themselves.

    37 posts since August of 2009 turns out to be around 2 a month on average. It hardly takes any time. It must make it easier for everyone to dismiss my criticism and satire by drawing the conclusion that it's all really just the result of some defect on my part.

    Great, now I have to make a post making fun of myself...uh...I mean...Troy Gregory that is, in order to throw you off my trail.

    Stick and around and use a google ID when you comment, so that my 5 regular readers can seperate your 2 cents from everyone else's.

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  10. I am a new anonymous. You got me with Greg Baise's beard. It was light. Sterling's pants-very cute. I'm not familiar with the younger people. Sterling and Greg are my friends. Then we get to Silverghost, more people I also actually care about. Margaret's boobs? Yeah, they're fantastic and she shows them off well. My problem is this blog is getting closer and closer to my dearest friends. You are starting to freak me out. Thankfully for me I don't fit your repertoire. However, if I had a cat I'd be afraid that would be your next post. BTW That wasn't Margaret, she has a gift for sound bites. . Stay cute not bitchy.

    It is pretty obvious you actually DO like some of these people.

    As far as guest lists, many talented bands play for sweat and get their guest list in exchange. If they aren't really getting paid, they may as well get their friends in for free. You aren't irritated by the drink tickets and free beers they get to bring money into the bar as well are you? Oh, and let's not forget the out of town bands they give all the money to just so everyone gets to see a great show. In your words they are such "douchetards". Damn them for being entertaining. Back off my imaginary cat.

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  11. It's been a while since I've heard from you. I thought that maybe I had lost out on your input. (You've been back since, you just weren't commenting)

    If your imaginary cat looks like this: http://hipsterpets.com/post/586581157/what-people-dont-see-are-the-two-ipods-hidden
    then I totally want to make a post about it.

    Well of course I like some of these people. Greg and Stirling are rad. Who wouldn't like them? On the other hand, how can I not make a joke about Stirling's pants? Since your opinion on my posts are based solely on how closely they relate to you, give me a list of everyone you know, and I'll be sure to never mention them.

    The drink ticket thing isn't quite so flaunted in front of the three people paying to get in, so I don't think it's turning off people quite so badly.

    As for bands being in it just to entertain their friends, and not really caring if they turn off everyone else, then so be it. Just don't be that ass-hat who whines about how "the arts" aren't supported when you're a part of the problem. Case in point: http://www2.metrotimes.com/music/story.asp?id=14057
    (If every white kid slumming it just to be cool actually ate out of the Avalon dumpster, then Avalon must be filling up 8 dumpsters to the brim every day with unsold bread)

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  12. I really have never commented on your blog. I pay to get into every show even when people try to comp me. As someone who has seen both sides of door, band agreements etc, etc. . oh and I did get a formal opinion of a musician before sending just to fact check. . you don't know me or my imaginary cat I was just being a smart ass but apparently you want to be the only one entitled to that. . Lighten up. These shows are $5.

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  13. I Love the cat. :) How'd you know?

    I like my friends who make music/art, social climbers irritate me and whatever The Gardens say really doesn't even hit my radar. . they are fun to watch though. . whatever you are doing Is supporting the scene because we are talking about this at all. It sucks being misunderstood, I of all people should know.

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  14. Give me a little credit, do I sound Anything like your other Anonymous? I have a sense of humor. Oh and I DO have a pic of that cat on my FB. .

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  15. really, you've still got nothing? ok. I as the new anonymous is bored. it's Wed. . . what really happens on a Wed?(that is slight sarcasm because you don't get mine) I heard someone jumped out of a cake and there was an art show but really? why bother. .someone jumped out of a cake!!!

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  16. Whoa! Lately you're like a crack whore for the internets.

    Give yourself a moniker so that I can give you an award at the end of the year for being the only one who insists on paying. (I don't expect anyone to give their real name to an internet creepster)

    Regardless of whether it's $5, $8, or $10, if you make all of this into a circle jerk, you don't get to put on the "unappreciated in their times" artist shtick.

    How many people of the people with indoor scarves insisted on a gluten free cake?

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  17. No shit. Like that bitchy girl thought, you really are just mad about not being in a clique. How disappointing. Let downs are no fun. Thank you for teaching me that in return. I actually thought you were really paying attention but that scarf gluten free cake nonsense means you are just some "internet creepster" or of a certain age. ahh well. I was amused but I guess I'll have to go back to my other activities of liking art that isn't mediocre.

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  18. really super sad. was crushing on the sarcasm but lo and behold it is just anger. :(

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  19. Did the scarf/gluten comment hit too close to home?

    Actually that was super sarcasm about your sarcasm, about my sarcasm, about your sarcasm, based on my sarcasm. I'm super sad that you didn't understand it. So sad that I cut myself. I will now always look at that scar and remember you, anonymous #34.

    Sorry it took me so long to respond, I spent the last several days consuming UberArt, which I'm sure is vastly superior to whatever barely above mediocre art you were witnessing. I actually had some concentrated UberArt injected directly into my veins. It comes with a free t-shirt that says "I'm Better Than You", so that I don't have to try so hard to come off as superior to all the people who create and patronize mediocre art.

    Can we go back to being i-bff's?

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  20. Why isn't your blog about this amazing UberArt??? . . SHARE!! I don't know these scarf wearing people of which you speak. I must not be at the right UberArt shows. . My Bad. Next time I want you to send me blood as proof. . because I'm starting to wonder if you get out much.

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  21. . . especially when you consider Margaret hasn't lived here in years. . She just passes through.

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  22. I don't if I'm allowed to say more about UberArt. If I do, my name might be etched onto the permanent anti-list.

    I tried uploading the blood into the USB port, but it won't work. Maybe that means I need to upgrade to a Macbook Pro.

    Margaret might not live here anymore, but her astral projection still haunts us.

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  23. Isn't your name Already etched into the permanent anti-list? I saw the indoor scarf wearer it was probably your girl.

    Too bad about the blood. . I need a transfusion of Youth Culture.

    She is lovely. . I'm bored again. . you need to update.

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  24. The years:1997-1999. The setting:the Cass Corridor.
    Adding to a pre-existing foundation people are shipping in from Ann Arbor. Solid friendships are being made, bonds being formed. The last of the boy scouts are just arriving. Everyone is in drunk revelry discussing vintage Sears Silvertones and anything Blackface Fender. . .

    but then. . there is a silence. . everyone starts wringing their hands and laughing. . One Day. . One Day . There will be an uncountable amount of twenty-somethings we can all REJECT!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! CHEERS!!! The laughter gets louder and a lamb is sacrificed.

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  25. The douchebaggery is multi-generational. Someone has to replace all those people who sold out and became soccer mommies and daddies.

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  26. It took you a month? . . a true wit. . without breeding how else will you be outnumbered?

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  27. It took you 20 days? You should jump on the bandwagon and get right on that breeding thing. Find the ass-hat with the most ironic looking glasses and make him your baby-daddy. As you wait for the bun to pop out of your oven you can regale us with examples of your superior wit.

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  28. oh goody. you're back! How's that replacing the living working out for you? As much fun as I've been having and what smiles you give me there really must be better things for you to do with your life than this. I am always prepared to support even the undeserving if they add color to the climate. Are you good at anything? My ass-hat has been wearing those shades since before you were born. Good god it's such a treat to be me.

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  29. Whatever you were trying to say was garbled by bad sentence structure, but I'll take it to mean that you'll be checking back on the blog you're too cool for.

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  30. oh sweetheart, I'm not too cool for anything that's just your insecurity. Those sentences are straight you are just running out of jabs. Too bad in reality you would probably make my eyes bleed and I'm a sweaty, fat, hairy dude. I would toss one in about breaking your cherry ass but we both know that happened in your teens.

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  31. You've already checked back here 3 times looking for a response since your last comment, so it's safe to say you've proven you're not too cool for this blog.

    Sweaty, fat, and hairy? Are you the guy on the left?
    http://lh5.ggpht.com/_fZ7TvbeRp2A/SlOVDJFN56I/AAAAAAAADO0/zNRKi_fT7Bg/beans%20focused%20latfh.jpg

    You structure sucks, and my jabs outnumber the stale cheetos stuck in your beard.

    Cherry ass? Yeah...now you've definitively proven your superior wit.

    Check back often, and never forget to comment. In fact, why don't you go ahead and use a google ID when you do, so that everyone can tell you apart from the other commenters.

    (A post about boobs gets over 30 comments, and the post about The Belmont gets zero. How did that happen?)

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  32. I was at the Belmont closing. You weren't. Keep blowing your buddies. You kids have ZERO in common with No-Wave. "You structure sucks" too moron. I couldn't resist the ass fuck comment. You're too queer to go to a real live show.

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  33. Speaking of No-Wave, I am involved with a person that was there at the Mud club and had a NY cult band. However you are too busy whining to learn from your elders. Just tell everyone your friends' label bands are as good as Delta Five or DEVO and the other idiots you hang out with will believe you.

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  34. Margarets's boobs? That's what you get for including my best friend in your lame, pathetic, whine-fest.

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  35. I saw your buddy's garbage dumpster girl. She ran upon sight of me.

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  36. 4 comments from 5:55 to 6:45? It's nice to know that you just couldn't get my whiny pathetic blog out of your mind.

    So how was the final Belmont circle jerk?

    I wasn't complaining about the number of comments on this post, but rather the lack of comments on the other post. As for Margaret's boobs, she makes them a part of her show, so it's fair game. She apparently has a lot of "best" friends who are easily offended.

    You couldn't resist the ass fuck comment? Paging Dr. Freud!

    Moron? More examples of your superior wit.

    What's all the gibberish about no-wave, labels, and someone's girlfriend? Have you confused me with another blog that you have a love/hate relationship with?

    I'm sure that no-wave and everything else was way cooler before everyone else knew about it. Tell us more about the good old days. http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/funny-pictures-old-man-cat.jpg
    Or you could just repeat the stories of the person you're "involved with".

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  37. Now we're talking. I DO love it when you get all riled up. It's more fun for me that way. I just generalize about your clique the way you generalize about mine. Also fair game. So You like the Belmont and are sad it's closing or it's another "circle jerk" bar?

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  38. You aren't listening to me. If you get out from behind your PC and start participating in the world around you, you too may be presented the opportunities offered to the people you whine about. I get it. The more talented you perceive yourself to be and the bigger your crushed dreams are/were the more frustrating the mid-twenties are. It's like a mini mid life crisis. "Why didn't my creative career work out the way I wanted?" "Why do people pay attention to them and not me?" If you just relax and enjoy the world around you it will happen. I'm sorry your buddies don't care and I'm the only one paying attention to you.

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  39. "Now we're talking. I DO love it when you get all riled up. It's more fun for me that way."
    Huh? This from the guy who sat in front his computer for nearly an hour on the 23rd with smoke coming out of his ears?

    Cliques? I think I spread the ridicule around pretty good. If I'm leaving out a group of people that deserve ridicule, by all means say so, and maybe I'll get around to them too.

    As for the Belmont, it was a circle jerk bar, but closing wasn't the result I was hoping for. Go back to the post.

    You just don't know what to make of me. One moment you think I'm JCM (or at least that's what I surmise from your previous ramblings about no-wave), another moment you think I'm another run of the mill computer jockey, and at another moment you think I'm a frustrated musician.

    No one is listening, because you're not making much sense. Funny that you dropped the internet tough guy tone when it wasn't getting you anywhere, and tried on the wise mentor hat. Believe me, I thoroughly enjoy the way I participate. Satire and mockery has it's place, even when it's done badly. I'm not sure why you keep injecting this generational stuff, especially when the generation that you seem to be grouping yourself into only receives a minority of my ridicule.

    Why some posts provoke responses and other don't is a mystery to me, but I take all responses as flattery.

    Stay tuned, and use a google ID or moniker of some kind when you chime in. That way my five readers can tell you apart from my other occasional detractors, seeing as they can't view my meager web traffic in the same way I can.

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  40. Oh my. . You're cute when you're mad.

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  41. I am a big cozy house cat and you are a field mouse. You just give me fun. No nutrition.

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  42. Who said this was about tits anyway? Way to stay on topic BJ.

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  43. Mad? You're either confusing me with another blog again (dementia?), or your reading comprehension skills are lacking. Maybe a G.E.D. prep course could help you out with that. You're never to old to go back to school.

    After spending 50 minutes one afternoon on this blog post on the 23rd (the evidence will always be right here on this page for everyone to see), no one is going to buy your "dozy house cat" bullshit. At best, you're a twitchy stray on the verge of succumbing to feline AIDS.
    http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/funny-pictures-old-man-cat.jpg

    First you tried to be an internet tough guy, then a wizened elder, and now you're trying to pass yourself off as a merry internet prankster. Who are you going to try to be tomorrow? An astronaut? A ballerina?


    P.S.- It would difficult to find a more hypnotic pair of tits in this scene.

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  44. Yes her tits are lovely. I never thought you were JRC. He's a happy chap not a repressed computer super nerd. You post a blog mocking real people in a way that is closer to slander than satire and get so fussy about being questioned about it. I am most certainly Not confused. I Actually like people. . .even you nerd boy. Pissing you off just makes me giggle. My bad.

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  45. Oops, my mangy ass was busy at an overpriced Japanese restaurant to finish my thoughts. . You have tagged more bodies than a morgue. That was just for you dear. Enjoy :) XO

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  46. I didn't say JRC, I said JCM, as in The Jesus Chainsaw Massacre. That's who you thought I was when you were blathering about no-wave music, right? It was rather amusing to see you floundering with that.

    Slander? I think you mean libel. Irregardless of the correct legal terminology, let's discuss that. Hustler Magazine v. Falwell (1988) establishes that public figures are subject to a level of criticism and ridicule that private citizens aren't. Once an individual or a band puts something out for public consumption, and so long as there's one iota of an effort made to promote it, they've crossed that line. Regardless of whether music is their full time vocation or not. Also, "the Court found that reasonable people would not have interpreted the parody to contain factual claims". What I do doesn't come close to libel or slander. I use information that's publicly known or available. That's why I often link to articles. I don't use anything that's based in unsubstantiated gossip. I have in fact refused to use gossip that's been sent to me by email. Good things can come from my mockery. Zach needs to someone to tell him that he does comes off as posturing. Jeremy Freer needs to be told that he comes off as a prima-donna. Fussy? No, I just enjoy defending the obvious observations that form the basis of what I do here.

    I have to thank you for bringing up the slander/libel argument. It gives me a chance to explain what I do here without it sounding like some kind of lame mission statement.

    You weren't pissing anyone off anyone except yourself. Watching you pat yourself on the back for something you weren't doing reminded my of the medal ceremony at The Special Olympics.

    You like me? Aw shucks, I'm glowing with pride.

    I usually don't care for superfluous autobiographical information, but tell us more about your night at the overpriced Japanese restaurant.

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  47. This still reminds me of the Atheist banging on Morman doors. Call me all sorts of whatever names "Weirdo", but the fact remains that YOU like dishing out more than you can take. . .speaking of superfluous over information. Just how many people does it take for you to complete a thought?

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  48. I get that simple English doesn't apply to you because you want to appear as highly educated. I also get that in the U.S.A. you are protected to be a douchetard. What you aren't hearing is that by calling artists who add to our dull climate douchetards, YOU are being the douchetard. It's been said in countless forms now. So it's legal. You still suck.

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  49. One last after thought. I don't have a crush on you. I was being a dick. This town is full of people with more talent, intelligence and warmth than you. I also don't need to tap them to win a fight.

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  50. Beansie! You're back again! I've decided that it's time for you to go by the same moniker as the person that by your own admission you resemble, http://lh5.ggpht.com/_fZ7TvbeRp2A/SlOVDJFN56I/AAAAAAAADO0/zNRKi_fT7Bg/beans%20focused%20latfh.jpg

    "Call me all sorts of whatever names", said the guy who had to fall back on "moron".

    How many hours does it take you to complete a thought? Today it took you 5. Wow. 5 Hours. That's more ridiculous than when it took you 50 minutes.

    If I couldn't take it I wouldn't have left every comment here after 2 years.

    Some days you comment here at 5:50 A.M., and other days you're checking for new comments at 2:30 A.M., and at just about any random hour. I'm worried that you're lacking sleep. It could affect your health.

    Simple English? You can't even handle that much. Sometimes, when people can articulate themselves, they don't have to rely on phrases like "ass cherry". It's still not too late for you.

    I'm not calling them douchetards on account of the art they make. Try to keep up. "YOU are being the douchetard" Whoa! A word in all capital letters! That way we know that you were typing really hard on the keyboard. Everyone is impressed.

    An after thought? You just think of me all day, don't you? "I was being a dick" Yeah, nobody was understanding the context, so it's good that you're explaining yourself. You just can't stop digging yourself into a larger hole. Chances are, your friends wouldn't want to be associated with your derailed logic train.

    When are you going to tell us more about your expansive knowledge on no-wave music and your tastes in fine dining? We're all dying to hear.

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  51. I lost respect for you and am bored. Have fun with your five readers. At least TMZ has the decency to mock itself. All you do is pick apart sentences and don't really have any cute comebacks. Boooring. Did my triple o's thrill you?

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  52. Honestly, her tits are mediocre at best. Perhaps if you detached them from what they're attached to and judged them independently, they may go up a few ticks. Although, I guess the fatal flaw in my logic is that by judging separated tits independently of their carrier, all the fat chicks in the scene would win this award...unless of course they're fat hangar tits. This has turned out to be quite the conundrum. Over the next month or so, I will perform a series of field tests (close-up photos of tits), upload and post them as to where the owner is anonymous, and then hold a judging contest. This will end the confusion regarding if fat tits are better than Margaret Doll Rod's tits whence separated from one's body.

    PS. I am in no way talking about surgically removing someone's breasts, rather, disassociating the tits from their owner. It's a bit scientific.

    PSS. My money is on Nikki Corvette

    -jr

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  53. See? Now you're left with BJ and his tit dissection. So I like ass jokes and simplicity. I never had to ask my friends for 50 cent words. You know what I like better than ass jokes and why I check up on you Orville? Banter. You never give me banter. :(

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  54. Oh Beansie, I'm so heartbroken to have lost your admiration. If you weren't checking back here 4 times a day you wouldn't have gotten bored so fast. I mock myself quite often, pay attention. As for your sentences, they wouldn't be picked apart so much if you could be a bit more literate, consistent, and logical.

    You're simple because you like it, or because that's the limit of your capabilities? Your idea of banter involves going back in time to 1992 to swap "yo mama" jokes.

    We're all waiting in breathless anticipation for more of your musings on no-wave music.

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  55. I'd be interested to see the results of the tit study. I hope Bryan Metro weighs in. I can't wait for him to say "I would not fondle these tits".

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  56. Yo mama jokes rule and your sarcasm died as soon as Chandler donned his first sweater vest. Amuse me. Stop trying to be a pseudo intellectual. Considering you blog about tits you aren't fooling anyone.

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  57. So I'm stuck by a computer looking for laughs. Are you ripping on me or half the world? Sorry, company this time. I know my details give you footing.

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  58. I know you're a dorky kid. I think your efforts are cute. YOU DON'T CARE. You don't show up in reality either do you? We used to take care of our own. You kids of today don't give a fuck about shit.

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  59. yo mama jokes still fuk Chandler., :P I'm sorry you suck.

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  60. YES I like being a dick to your blog.

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  61. did it ever occur to you that I fuck with you because I think it's funnY?




























    Hey wait, How was my sentence structure???

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  62. Every Sunday at 4AM I like to comb the internet for lulz and spread hate to.

    -jr

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  63. Radness. It's spelled too. I thought you were all English majors.

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  64. From 10:00 PM on July 2nd to your 4 AM meltdown of gibberish, thoughts of me occupied your feeble brain for over 6 hours. Who's really being fucked with here? You can't deny the evidence.

    Mentioning the 90's got you really excited. Any reference to the decade of your prime must do that. I'll bet you're still waiting for the goatee to become cutting edge all over again.

    "Pseudo-intellectual" is what you cry out any time you encounter someone who can give their age without counting on their fingers, and it's evident that even a post about tits is above your reading level.

    When are you going to tell us more about no-wave music? Will the person you're "involved with" weigh in? Tell us about your time at the Japanese restaurant.

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  65. Oh, sassy. You must have been distracted by a Jugelette. You keep begging to know more about me and what my friends think. Obie thinks you may be making money off this and doesn't want me to line your pockets. Leia asks me why I bother. She says the Universe is mine and you aren't even Boba. Chewie says ripping on the Gardens and Deastro is dim lit. As for Luke, I've been playing too much Carl Perkins in the Millennium Falcon and he openly rips on me for "liking Elvis"

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  66. Yeah I don't make much sense after 2am either.

    -jr

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  67. Back off BJ. You bore me.

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  68. Ok BJ, this one's for you. I was napping and am still foggy. So if posting a blog trashing talented people is dumb, just how bright is it to name yourself and your band as a strident supporter of trashing the talented? I wouldn't give my name up if I was getting paid.

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  69. "You keep begging to know more about me and what my friends think."
    It couldn't possibly be that all the random autobiographical data you kept volunteering was hilarious, could it? Citing the person you're "involved with" as a source while you were floundering around about no-wave was an added bonus of absuridty, as if that would somehow make you seem credible on the issue. You're idea of "involved with" probably just means a thrice divorved mother of four that hasn't returned your calls for the last month. I'm sure that everyone is relieved when you show up, because you once took a nurse out to White Castle, thereby making you qualified to give first aid in an emergency.

    Beansie, you made a Star Wars reference. You're almost becoming creative. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't evolve.

    "ripping on the Gardens and Deastro is dim lit"
    I'm sure you and your imaginary friends have highly discerning tastes in literature.

    When are you going to tell us more about no-wave music and Japanese restaurants?

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  70. Your attempts at humor *which majorly fail* only reaffirm my points of your lameness. Thank You for not being a challenge whatsoever.

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  71. I would bet you would love to know what I know about no-wave and Japanese restaurants. . it's fun. The thing is that I'm not a disappointed rich boy missing a couple of gold chains. My taste in friends and lit are solid. You trash contemporary culture. Have fun trying to prove to your parents you're worthy because you read the same things as everyone else.

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  72. Oh, and those were real opinions from others. Back in them olden times when people wrote gossip columns there was always a veil. It kept it classy and the mystery was exciting for those outside the circle.

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  73. p.s.s "Beansie"? gag me with a spork.

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  74. The contradictions are endless.

    Great job, Beansie!

    -jr

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  75. "Thank You for not being a challenge whatsoever."
    Another walk onto the stage during the Special Olympics medal ceremony for Beansie. It took you from 1:41 to 3:05 AM to gather your feeble thoughts, so this is clearly a momentous challenge for you.

    Hilarious! The only reason you can come up with for why you're such a dullard is that someone else must be rich. The only advantage I had over you at birth was intellect.

    You went from "I also don't need to tap them to win a fight" on June 29th to "Oh, and those were real opinions from others". The concept of consistency is probably over your head. I'm sure you're leaving out the part where your friends asked you, "Why are you trying so hard? Maybe you should relax and go for a ride on your big tricycle with the orange flag."

    If you think this is a gossip column, you're again proving that you lack reading comprehension skills.

    You're Beansie now. Deal with it.

    When are you going to tell us more about no-wave music and Japanese restaurants?

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  76. Repetitive much? Once again the super genius re-quotes and has little to say. I haven't gone near all the misplaced "YOU'RE idea of 'involved with'" and how very often you screw up simple English because I'm just not that lazy. You have no jokes. There are no real points being made in this argument by you. You are an over defensive blogger who doesn't edit. I'm just *your* detractor. This isn't my blog with countless grammatical errors. I thought you had the "advantage of intellect."

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  77. I can't take credit for this awesome slam. "Tell the Jugelette to stop douching with Faygo and you'll both feel much better."

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  78. "I haven't gone near all the misplaced "YOU'RE idea of 'involved with'" and how very often you screw up simple English because I'm just not that lazy. "

    This sentence makes no sense whatsoever.

    Another swing and a miss for Beansie!

    -jr

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  79. It took you over 2 hours to finish your thought this time. You're getting faster.

    "Once again the super genius re-quotes and has little to say"
    Yeah, you hate when I rub your face in your stupidity and contradictions. You caught one spelling mistake Beansie, you must be beaming with pride. So much pride that you couldn't think straight enough to finish that sentence while still making any sense. Your idea of jokes are one-liners that you plagiarized from bad sitcoms, but go ahead and keep telling yourself how creative and funny you are.

    When are you going to tell us more about no-wave music and Japanese restaurants?

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  80. I miss this woman named Margaret. If you don't appreciate the people in this town, I don't feel sorry for you. Fuck you for not giving a shit about others.

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  81. I'm sure Margaret is an outstanding person. I'm also sure this blog post wouldn't bother her that much.

    If you obsessively comment on an insignificant blog four times a day, I don't feel sorry for you. Fuck you for taking any criticism of your social circle as blasphemy, and not seeing the bigger picture.

    ReplyDelete
  82. my bad. trolling for abusive twirps seems to entertain me.

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  83. Besides, I wasn't talking about her feelings I was talking about mine.

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  84. Beansie! You're back...and still not making any sense.

    Also, it's spelled "twerp". You even use a browser that has a built in spell checker, so there's no excuse.

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  85. Since this conversation got personal months ago I will leave you with a parting thought until you invent some new weird way to get my attention. I show you compassion because you want it as much as you fight it. You knew my capacities, otherwise why bother? I don't care who this does or does not make sense to. Communication was given. This thread is played out.

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  86. My computer is pretty freaking rad. Does it give you a boner?

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  87. "Since this conversation got personal months ago"
    Totally. Back on June 23rd you said "I saw your buddy's garbage dumpster girl. She ran upon sight of me.", back when you thought I was a member of The Jesus Chainsaw Massacre, after you had been babbling about no-wave music. I immediately thought, "Why is this wack-job spending an hour formulating his four comments, why does he think I'm in JCM, and why is he trying to take a cheap shot at one of their girlfriends?". Or maybe you were talking about my reference to the thrice divorce mother of four that doesn't return your phone calls that you're "involved with"? You constantly contradict yourself, and you never really make any sense, so there's no telling what you're referring to.

    "I show you compassion"
    You can't keep up, so you try to declare victory before you run away.

    "You knew my capacities"
    Yeah, I'm sure there's someone holding a drool cup under your mouth while you type.

    "My computer is pretty freaking rad. Does it give you a boner?"
    I'm so glad you have a rad computer. I wouldn't want you to work with faulty equipment as you're working on your dissertation on no-wave music. I can't wait to read it.

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  88. I'm certain the Library of Congress will be phoning you shortly. Do you really want your buddies to know what a coward you are? Is jugelette still treating you like dirt? I always knew it was you. oh and I will so go there.

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  89. Keep calling me retarded. That will keep you from me forever. 28 yr olds grow on trees.

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  90. You don't have a super high IQ. You probably have the same number as me. The only thing you have in common with them is an anti-social personality. I treated you fairly. I was an adult and you acted like a child. I was willing to let you run off to your playground and I was fine with that, but you had to keep pestering me. What is it you truly want? What kind of genius throws away his own Christmas presents?

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  91. "Yeah, I'm sure there's someone holding a drool cup under your mouth while you type."

    -jr

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  92. 8 hours. Wow. It took you 8 hours to finish your feeble thoughts, and you still don't have any answers for all your contradictions. After acting like you were never coming back, you did anyway. I love it when someone talks about how they're done with this blog, only to break down and comment on it again. It shows a complete lack of logic and consistency. Despite the fact that someone taught you how to change your IP-address, I still know when you're checking back here, so your posturing will always be exposed to me.

    "I always knew it was you"
    You're just doubling down on your stupidity now.

    "Keep calling me retarded"
    Keep on proving that it's true.

    "You don't have a super high IQ. You probably have the same number as me"
    A rhesus monkey looks like a genius next to you.

    "I was an adult and you acted like a child"
    This from the fool who had to fall back on "cherry ass". More contradictions...

    You went from "did it ever occur to you that I fuck with you because I think it's funnY?" on July 3rd, to "you had to keep pestering me". Hilarious. Typical Beansie, the contradictions just never stop.

    "What kind of genius throws away his own Christmas presents?"
    You really think too much of yourself. Especially in light of all the evidence here of your meager capabilities. Watching you fall all over yourself here is the best Christmas present I could ever ask for. This is fun!

    When do we get to read your dissertation on no-wave music? Will the thrice divorced mother of four be your only reference?

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  93. Capacities? If you were any where nearly as smart as you think you are you wouldn't be a shabby, dirty, little monkey who may be the most hated boy in town.

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  94. Christmas presents cannot be seen running around with poor, shabby little monkeys. It pisses people off. Even your own friends. "Weirdo" "drug addict" "ew" "clown" "don't worry about his feelings, he's in love with". . something you could find in a truck stop bar.

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  95. I forgot a couple. "no anonymous you didn't" , "I've lost all respect for you anonymous" to which I replied "Really? I thought you said you liked this kid" Don't think it didn't bother me that you've dug such a big hole for yourself. If anything it buys my sympathy. However if you think you can call yourself superior I think you should know.

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  96. Where's all your original comebacks? If I don't say anything, you don't have much to go on. If you can't think outside of the box, that is minus 2 brownie points. What is your Super High I.Q. number any way? I'm aching to know. I page you at 130. Certainly Not a 140. Creative I.Q. cannot be measured and your E.Q. is poor. You missed the point that although I may adore nerds, I love the sweet ones. No I did not spend hours dreaming up some comment to you, I have a life. . where the fuck is yours?? You can do better.

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  97. 4 comments over a nearly 7 hour period. Wow. As usual, once a higher than average number of contradictions from you is highlighted, you devolve into a multiple hour marathon of gibberish. Let's address what almost makes sense...

    "you wouldn't be a shabby, dirty, little monkey who may be the most hated boy in town."
    Hilarious! I'm glad I have such an effect on you and the people you tag along with.

    "Don't think it didn't bother me that you've dug such a big hole for yourself"
    This from the guy who can't stop drowning in his contradictions.

    "No I did not spend hours dreaming up some comment to you, I have a life. . where the fuck is yours??
    The evidence here says otherwise. Not just on one occasion, but multiple times. You check back here more often than I do. This blog is more central to your existence than it is to anyone else.

    When do we get to read your dissertation on no-wave music?

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  98. The No wave was never for you it was for Boba. I know you have been doing research and the reason I check is for your not funny little comments. I am near a screen. I like friendly debate but you are never friendly. OK. We both admitted at some point we knew who we were talking to so stop using a double standard mask. You are good at that aren't you? I used to see you as an Ewok. Epic wrecking but entertaining to little girls. Now you are Jar Jar Binks. oh, and genius. . I never changed anything but computers. I never cared if you knew it was me.

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  99. it's never for you is it? That's how smart you are. Sweetie, it really hurts me that no one likes you. Don't say some dumb shit head thing about that either, ok? I see your potential and I have come up from my boot straps. It bothers me. You do it to yourself. That hurts me the worst.

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  100. "I am near a screen"
    More like you're tethered to it. After typing in your last comment at 3:30 AM, you checked back again a mere 4 hours later. You're either addicted to my blog, or you're constantly on your computer playing World of Warcraft, and need something to do when you're taking a break from sexually harassing all the elf maidens.

    "We both admitted at some point we knew who we were talking to so stop using a double standard mask."
    Just keep on doubling down on your stupidity.

    "I never changed anything but computers"
    Nice try Beansie.

    "I used to see you as an Ewok. Epic wrecking but entertaining to little girls. Now you are Jar Jar Binks"
    From your "dozy house cat" nonsense to Star Wars. No one is convinced by any of your imbecilic comparisons. Especially when you either don't make sense, or you're embarrassing yourself with contradictions and childish name calling.

    "it really hurts me that no one likes you."
    "It bothers me. You do it to yourself. That hurts me the worst."
    Yes, I really hope and pray that the people you tag along with (the ones that still take your calls, anyway) will let me tag along too (or maybe I already do and you don't know it). Everyone is very worried about your emotional state, so please keep us updated.

    "I see your potential and I have come up from my boot straps."
    I don't think you understand how the "boot straps" reference is supposed to work, but then again you understand so little.

    "Don't say some dumb shit head thing about that either, ok?"
    You clearly have high standards for discourse, as evidenced by "cherry ass".

    Don't keep you dissertation on no-wave music confined to just your imaginary friends, share it with the rest of the world.

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  101. When life calls and wants it's thesis from you, please let me know. I am just dying to know the slightly above average details. Make sure to check "you" grammar first though, since your English skills are going to get you into Mensa.

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  102. Shut up BJ. I'm not the weirdo with my friend's boobs in their blog talking about how they are pals with all my friends (the ones they aren't blogging about). I am going to spell this one out. Be friends with every one I wish you the best. Be as smart as you think you are. It's not your job to like me. I have people for that. I will never be around you. I wish you the best.

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  103. Ooh, you caught a spelling mistake. You must be so proud of yourself. You even managed to not devolve into a smattering of gibberish this time. In addition to that, you were able to stop yourself from going on a 4 consecutive comment binge.

    Any updates on your emotional state? I'd hate to think that you're still depressed. Will you ever recover from the emotional devastation caused by my ridicule of the people you tag along with? Perhaps there is a crisis center out there for someone in your situation.

    Keep us update on the progress of your dissertation on no-wave music.

    (I just realized this post has passed the 100 comment mark. I couldn't have done it without your obsessive comment binges Beansie. Thank you!)

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  104. guess what? it was the birthday of one of my friends you don't "think" you know. Read the Brian Smith Metro Times article and rub two brain cells together. As far as I'm concerned, the things I did by 22 pretty much kill any desire to be an apple polishing student. I enjoyed real Detroit and outside culture that you read about as a teenager. You know, "bad with girls" set you up. I told you, people that know you don't want you near me. He gave you the recipe of people I dislike the most. You even sold out the "Hopeless romantic" who helped you. True dick move.

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  105. The two different Orvilles I met confused me. I really was just concerned about your feelings. I meant you no harm. The fact that you went so far out of your way to bug me months later I thought was endearing even if it was kinda serial killer. I really need to stay the hell away from you.

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  106. BTW, a private conversation held publicly needs to be coded. It's not gibberish. I knew at Silverghost it was you and where you were getting your information. You may not respect my privacy but I do.

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  107. Here's my eighth comment for the night. At the end of the day all I did was expose how abusive you are. Even if I am completely retarded, retards don't deserve to be so brutally abused. You don't know the lines between yo mama jokes and rotten. The Christmas package joke was a sex joke not an ego joke. In your hands a mutual friends concern is total annihilation. Not cool Orville.

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  108. "Read the Brian Smith Metro Times article"
    I'm not interested in your homework assignment. Pass.

    "the things I did by 22 pretty much kill any desire to be an apple polishing student"
    You don't need a degree to be coherent or consistent.

    "You know, "bad with girls" set you up."
    Huh? Are you confusing me with another blog you're obsessed with?

    "I told you, people that know you don't want you near me."
    What a shame. I thought we might meet for tea some time in the future.

    "The fact that you went so far out of your way to bug me months later I thought was endearing even if it was kinda serial killer."
    You could have stopped coming back here any time you wanted, so don't pretend like you're an innocent bystander. Especially since there were so many times that you commented four times in one day. If anything, the evidence here makes you out to be the serial killer.

    "It's not gibberish. I knew at Silverghost it was you and where you were getting your information."
    You can't pretend that the stuff posted by you above isn't gibberish, the evidence will always be there. I can just imagine Detective Beansie with his plastic bubble pipe, thinking he has all the answers.

    "Even if I am completely retarded, retards don't deserve to be so brutally abused"
    Are you trying to play the victim? Once you said "garbage dumpster girlfriend" about someone that has nothing to do with this blog, and that neither one of us knows, you deserved everything you got. What I say about people here is really mild, you're the exception because you asked for it. For instance, what I said about Margaret (is she really your BFF? Or did she move to get away from a crazy stalker who just thought that he was?) essentially just means that no matter what "artistic vision" went behind having your boobs out and jiggling them around in front of an audience, you've still got your boobs out and you're jiggling them around in front of an audience. Accept that it still incites that same reactions that strippers do, regardless of your intent. You have to be really thin skinned to think that this blog amounts to abuse. People who can't withstand a blog like this certainly won't be able to handle what will hit them if and when they make it outside of this town.

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  109. I wasn't referring to your blog, I was referring to you.

    Chewbacca: "Woah, it seems like he wants to own or possess you."
    Han:"Yeah well I did that in college. He was a real genius who changed my life for the better and I still had to walk away."

    You read the article. It's not my fault that you are heartless and never had any pain.

    I saw truck stop last night. She's young enough to stop treating strangers badly. It's good advice. It's a small town and a bad idea to be a jerk. You still have no defense for selling out our mutual friend.

    I'm sure that your blog will be collected by the Smithsonian. Really. This matters so much.

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  110. When are you leaving this town?? Stay away from me.

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  111. I love my pretty friends. You creep me out.

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  112. wait, one more. . How often do you reread this?? I don't.

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  113. I thought I was done but I'm Not. Why do you fish out information about me? All that I know about you is that you can spend 3 hours tuning in Tokyo but cannot unscrew a light bulb.

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  114. I know you are BJ. Buy a sense of a sense of humor.

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  115. BJ. Buy a clue. This ridiculous conversation is between a weirdo with a blog and a weirdo that's annoyed by it. You should stop talking.

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  116. Orville. Thankfully strangers don't know what you are talking about but I DO. I in no way deserved this. I was totally fair with you. I find your twisted efforts curious and endearing. However, Seriously?? WTF did I do to deserve this other than make you shake.

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  117. Beansie, you deserve all of this and more.

    -jr

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  118. BJ, you don't even know what we are talking about. Your opinion is meaningless to me.

    Orville, we have already had this conversation and I told you where I stand. When someone takes personal tragedy and creates something artistic that makes others happy they have pulled up from their bootstraps.

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  119. BJ, Orville pretty much admits at the beginning of the thread that he is trying to get a woman's attention. So he finally gets it and you won't shut up. Way to have his back.

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  120. 7 comments over a 7 hour period. Wow. You even had your buddy giving you advice over the phone nearly every time you did so. (Tell him he needs to get back to work. His employer doesn't pay him to hold your hand every time you comment here. Maybe his time would be better spent finding you an abuse counselor, since you're a victim and all)

    "I wasn't referring to your blog, I was referring to you."
    No one can ever tell what you're referring to.

    'Chewbacca: "Woah, it seems like he wants to own or possess you."'
    You check back here every four hours after spending a whole day commenting here. The evidence shows who is really obsessed here.

    "You read the article. It's not my fault that you are heartless and never had any pain."
    No I didn't, and I'm not interested in tracking it down. I'll take a guess at what it said: "I went through all the effort to make some songs and perform them, and the blogs don't pat me on the back as readily as the Metro Times does. It makes me cry. The blogs are the reason that people don't come out to shows, not us. (Whimper, whimper whimper)"
    I'm guessing I nailed it. Either that, or it's something about how a person went through a hardship, so now the rest of us are obligated to cherish whatever was inspired by it. Most of the people on the planet have experienced problems, so whatever happened to one of your idols isn't all that unique in the grand scheme of things.

    "I saw truck stop last night. She's young enough to stop treating strangers badly."
    I still have no idea who you're talking about, and you probably don't either. Keep on proving the point from my previous comment.

    "You still have no defense for selling out our mutual friend."
    It's fun to watch you double down on all your stupid conclusions. Whatever story you're referring to is probably absurd enough for me to mock here in its very own post.

    "I'm sure that your blog will be collected by the Smithsonian. Really. This matters so much."
    You spent all day on it, so we know it matters to you. If the Smithsonian becomes as obsessed with this blog as you are, I'm sure they'll place a monument for it right next to the constitution.

    "wait, one more. . How often do you reread this?? I don't."
    The evidence says otherwise. Keep trying though.

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  121. "I thought I was done but I'm Not."
    You never are because you're obsessed.

    "Why do you fish out information about me?"
    The evidence here clearly shows you volunteering random information that no one asked for. It creates a lot of comedy, and I like laughing at you.

    "This ridiculous conversation is between a weirdo with a blog and a weirdo that's annoyed by it."
    No, this is really your attempt to impress all the people you tag along with, and my enjoyment at watching you fall all over yourself. Anthropologists have noted that it's the gammas of the group that feel the most axiety when the alpha of the group is attacked, and that the gammas work the hardest to gain the alpha's approval. Keep trying harder Beansie, and maybe they'll accept you more.

    "Thankfully strangers don't know what you are talking about but I DO."
    Hilarious!

    "I in no way deserved this. I was totally fair with you."
    The evidence, both old and new proves otherwise. If you find this abusive, all you have to do is go away.

    "I find your twisted efforts curious and endearing."
    I find your obsession to be hilarious. How many hours will it take you to respond next time?

    "WTF did I do to deserve this other than make you shake."
    Shake? You just can't stop flattering yourself. I thought you were an abuse victim?

    "I told you where I stand."
    You have no idea where you stand on any given day. First you're an internet tough guy, then a "dozy house cat", and now you're an abuse victim.

    "When someone takes personal tragedy and creates something artistic"
    You sound like you're trying to pitch a script to the Lifetime Channel. Let me know when they finally turn it into a movie. Since you have trouble following along, I'll explain to you again that I don't mock the musical content, because the musical content isn't the problem.

    "admits at the beginning of the thread that he is trying to get a woman's attention"
    Not really, but it's a nice bonus if the subject of a post responds. I'd be interested to see what happens when the subject of a more serious and critical post actually tries to defend their past behavior, or explain their affectations.

    (Now we're at 126 comments! Fuck yeah!)

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  122. You have more spelling errors. I never claimed to be an abuse victim. Where are you getting that? Do you think "Bad with girls'" reverse psychology amuses me? You got very bad advice. The bartender told me he was obsessing for a month and I thought that was sweet. The things you say to me have not been of my own admission but rather information you have ferreted out of my friends. You know that and so do I. You can keep amusing your lemmings by denying it but we both know that's not true.
    Taste is relative. No one wants you wasting your time amusing retarded sluts. I happen to know where you can find loudmouth white trash girls who get their clothes at Dick's Sporting Goods.
    Doesn't someone have to live here to be an alpha? Socializing doesn't give me "axiety". Weird boys who quietly discuss my secrets on their blog and deny it do.

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  123. In fact, the creepier of a head case you become the more I have to monitor you. No one is going to let you any where near me. Especially not now. I have a big safe wall of protection from friends every where I go. I just kept hoping you would calm down and lighten up. Instead you freak me out more.

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  124. i feel sorry for your friends that they have to tolerate you.

    -jr

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  125. Really amazing band name. You must be a Texas Christ Superstar.

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  126. oh and BJ, you think it's totally cool to bag on people you don't know in the most outlandish ways. The things you said about this woman's breasts were trailer park. Somehow when it gets thrown back you have a problem with that. Suck it up. I told you to shut up ages ago.

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  127. Over the last few months I've been playing my own little game. I tell someone I know we both know something personal and wait to re-read about it in this argument. Though it may be unclear to the reader it is pointedly obvious to me.

    I may say shitty things about trailer fashion, crack tasteless ass jokes and point out when Orville has messed up other people's events. What Orville has done is such a completely uncool dickmove it's beyond comprehension. Way over the line of some one's privacy.

    I know Texas Christ Superstar won't understand what I just said but he doesn't worry me.

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  128. Like I said, I pity your friends for having a headcase like you on their hands.

    Dumb cunt that needs attention in the most pathetic of ways.

    -jr

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  129. Nice put down moron. That's why I told you to shut up.

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  130. At least Orville gets to be a tampon. You are just some guy that licks Tampon's ass.

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  131. You've got really classy friends. Between Texas Christ Superstar and the loudmouth girl I am Super Impressed. Do you have some giant nonsense pretend to be a genius rant Tampax?? You Suck.

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  132. I can't sleep and cruelty makes me feel icky so I'll make it up by being generous. Wife beaters like texas bring out my ugly. I'm going to explain something to you. The two evil super geniuses I knew were both extremely effective communicators. They did not throw in piles of fifty cent words or make arguments like they were trying to impress a professor. Do you know why Orville? It was because they Knew they were geniuses and speaking to a larger group was far more potent than impressing their five nerd friends. That goes for your over florid writing style friends too. I truly prefer kindness. I have given you miles and miles of rope. If you choose to always hang yourself with it, I can't be to blame.

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  133. Everything you write on here is concocted with retard logic. You are the reason they invented abortions.

    -jr

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  134. What would you do without the occasional spelling error? At least it always makes sense.

    "I never claimed to be an abuse victim."
    On August 20th you said "Even if I am completely retarded, retards don't deserve to be so brutally abused." Exposing your contradictions is a joy that will never end. Did you get in touch with a grief counselor yet?

    "Do you think "Bad with girls'" reverse psychology amuses me?"
    Watching the clothes spin at the laundromat is enough to amuse you.

    "The things you say to me have not been of my own admission but rather information you have ferreted out of my friends. You know that and so do I."
    and...
    "Over the last few months I've been playing my own little game. I tell someone I know we both know something personal and wait to re-read about it in this argument. Though it may be unclear to the reader it is pointedly obvious to me."
    This is hilarious. You think there's some game of intrigue going on. The only times I didn't use information you volunteered, was when I was guessing. I tried to imagine the life of a forty-something who gave up on his dream, has an unearned sense of accomplishment, and who tags along with a crowd he idolizes. From that I surmised an involvement with a thrice divorce mother of four. I hit pay-dirt on that? Fantastic. Did I also nail it when I guessed that you obsessively play World of Warcraft? I suppose it makes you feel more important to think that you're living out some kind of James Bond scenario.

    "Way over the line of some one's privacy."
    I only use what's already been put out there, and what people have volunteered.

    "Taste is relative. No one wants you wasting your time amusing retarded sluts. I happen to know where you can find loudmouth white trash girls who get their clothes at Dick's Sporting Goods."
    Is that where you found your retarded slut?

    "Doesn't someone have to live here to be an alpha?"
    I think all those people just lied and said that they moved so that you'd stop trying to follow them around.

    "the creepier of a head case you become the more I have to monitor you"
    What was your excuse for the previous two months? This from the guy who spent 7 hours leaving 7 comments, and needed an assist from somebody to do it, before checking back every four hours. I might call myself an internet creepster, but the evidence here proves who the real creep is.

    "No one is going to let you any where near me. Especially not now. I have a big safe wall of protection from friends every where I go."
    That's good. We don't want you to be abused when you're out in public.

    "I just kept hoping you would calm down and lighten up. Instead you freak me out more."
    Right, because a person who spends 7 hours commenting is totally calm.

    "If you choose to always hang yourself with it, I can't be to blame."
    From the guy who can't stop contradicting himself...

    Let us all know when the Lifetime Channel buys your script.

    ReplyDelete
  135. it's ok John. the entire world knows it's you.

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  136. no one feels bad about you so let down your guard. "In heaven everything is fine" "If you're really lucky, you can come to DEVO island" so just calm down. YOU ARE ONLY IMPRESSING LEMMINGS. I told you I would never hurt you.

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  137. You are a total ungrateful dumbass. You never impressed me. I'll be on Mt. Hipsterlmpys watching you flounder in 3-D. You can't say I didn't try. That's what's so dumb about thinking you are smarter than everyone. People really like that. I tried. You were more concerned with your lemming readership than the talented ones checking you out.(you know, the people you may want to work with) I'll see you around looking dweeby, dishonest, ungrateful and unloving for anything you don't feel higher than which apparently isn't much.

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  138. I don't have to worry about superficialities. You don't get me or my loves at all. Those I love are deeper than what you see. My love for even asshats like you is better than what you give. My bad.

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  139. Yes, I have conflicted feelings. I want you to succeed but you suck. I care about others but you are a tampon. I can't help that I are. You exist in my environment. i Want you to do well, I just wish you weren't an asshole.

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  140. ha. "I can't help that I are". fuck. I'm certain you'll get over freudian with that.

    The rest of us actually like love and caring for others. You were never let in because you only like loving jokers. Successful people must be too scary. This is Detroit. No one is that special. I need to stop caring now. I really did and meant it. I cannot change you.

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  141. yes I'm drunk. you suck at sober. I tried. Enjoy being an ass. Let wife beaters lick it and loudmouths treat you poorly because you couldn't step up.

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  142. Hi everybody, I'm John! Hilarious...

    "I told you I would never hurt you."
    Well that's good, because we all know how terrifying an abuse victim can be.

    "I can't help that I are."
    The response to that just writes itself...

    "This is Detroit. No one is that special."
    Then they won't mind being The Scenester Douchetard of the Week.

    The rest of it doesn't make sense, so I won't bother. I'm impressed that you managed to make your seven comments in under an hour, rather than over a seven hour period.

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  143. Hey, at the time I didn't know that what I did to you was addictive. You behaved like you knew what was going on but judging by this blog you didn't. So I'm sorry.

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  144. You mean the blog that's been up this whole time, which you've already thoroughly read?

    I take this to mean that your espionage fantasy didn't play out like you thought it did.

    Sincerely,
    -John

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  145. "Espionage fantasy"? I hate to take a page out of your repetitive book but really?? Seriously? Stop baiting me. What can I say? I had no idea cheap cotton dresses and some genuine secrets added up to such excitement. BTW your garbled arguments were stiff and boring. I scanned them. I really am sorry if I disappointed you in any way.

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  146. You called me an "abuse victim". Let it be known that I too have a heart which can be broken but I am not any one's "victim". Others can play that but I never have. So this blog has no reason to say such things. I thought you were obsessed with your perception of others being unethical? Do those rules not apply to you? Fuck you for that.

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  147. You clearly had an espionage fantasy going. The evidence is all here. What "genuine secrets" were told here? What can you point to on this blog that wasn't public knowledge or obvious farce?

    "I scanned them."
    That's what you came back here multiple times a day for? To just scan? Nice try Beansie, but no one is convinced.

    'I am not any one's "victim"'
    Is that a line from the script you're trying to sell to the Lifetime Channel? Maybe you should make that the title.

    -Sincerely,
    John

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  148. You know John, as opposed to fishing out trivia I planted to people I knew would it tell you, you could have told me I sucked to my face. I am pretty easy to track down at least once a week. Coward.

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  149. I have no reprehension with telling you what i think of you to your face. Where are you once a week? Any answer other than a precise location and time will shed light on who the coward is.

    -jr

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  150. "fishing out trivia I planted to people I knew would it tell you"
    You just proved my point about your espionage fantasy.

    We're all dying to know where you hang out once a week.

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  151. JCM: I have outed myself eighty times, Orville just isn't informing you.He will just let you bark in the wind.

    Orville: I will pay you negative attention if you ask but I really only care about people who exist in the third dimension. How long has it been now? It has been such a grand compliment being called a "retard". You must be a lady killer. Thanks for back tracking and confusing your readers to pretend you care about my privacy. I would have told you myself Snoops McFukitup.

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  152. "I have outed myself eighty times"
    How could I have violated your privacy if you've outed yourself?

    "I will pay you negative attention if you ask"
    You once left 7 comments over a 7 hour period, so I'm sure you have no shortage of attention to give.

    "You must be a lady killer"
    I'll enroll in the Beansie Charm School, and then I'll be able to net my own thrice divorced mother of four with killer pick-up lines that include "cherry ass".

    "Thanks for back tracking"
    Once again, you're not making any sense.

    Has the Lifetime Channel bought your script yet?

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  153. You wanted my attention you got it, people are obvious like that. "Killer pick-up lines"?? I don't need those, I have weirdos writing about my friend's boobs. The kind of guy who sits his date in my lap to make statements unknown. "Cherry ass" is hysterical because you act like a 12 year old who got laid early. Sorry you're a bitch, it's actually a good thing. If you want to share my oxygen again follow these simple rules: *pretend you are pushing 30, not 13.
    *keep loudmouths and wifebeaters away. I prefer more distinguished company.
    *dates Not in my lap.
    *my friend's boobs off topic.
    *call me "Beansie"/"retarded" one more time I will hit you.
    *stop using our friends for trivia I willingly share.
    *be thankful and not resentful that you are surrounded by talented people.
    WTF is this 4 kid divorcee business about?? I don't get it. I know who I am and that's not it. I have to hand it to you for strangest effort. That will always get my attention but gets stale next to reality. I am not loyal to holograms but rather real people who exist in reality. It's cute that you are trying to call me the obsessive. I walked away. This blog business is going to entertain me, I am a mere mortal. Of all the odd shit men have done . . hahaha. . fucking priceless. Nice work. Lifetime couldn't handle my story, it's too sassy for the average housewives.

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  154. Hey Beansie, your fucking retarded. Let's see how the hits don't come.

    Where are you once a week?

    Coward.

    -jr

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  155. You aren't worth my criticism JCM. I save that mostly for my bitches. Even poor Orville is going to have some very big shoes to fill. "Your" so retarded it hurts my head. "Your" not worth my attention. Why don't you start trolling trailer parks for a willing victim? Maybe I'll start being nice to you because insulting you is a waste of my gifts and makes me feel icky. Fortunately I know you don't get it any way so I don't need to jump in the shower immediately. Do you think I'm the hairy fat guy I said I was? You are a swift one.

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  156. Excellent!

    "Cherry ass" made it clear that you're a frat boy without the worthless communications degree.

    "I prefer more distinguished company"
    You mean all those sock puppets that you gave Star Wars names to? We're all impressed.

    "dates Not in my lap"
    ?

    "my friend's boobs off topic"
    Not happening.

    "call me "Beansie"/"retarded" one more time I will hit you"
    You're Beansie now, deal with it. If you can go a whole week without contradicting yourself, I'll consider no longer drawing attention to your stupidity.

    "stop using our friends for trivia I willingly share"
    The espionage fantasy again...

    "be thankful and not resentful that you are surrounded by talented people"
    The talent clearly isn't the problem. Perhaps if some people would knock it off with the bullshit, the talent would get the recognition that it deserves.

    I imagined the life of a forty-something person who gave up on their dreams and has an undeserved sense of accomplishment. That leads me to conclude that the person you're "involved with" that you used as a source when you tried to act like an authority on no-wave, would have to be a thrice divorced mother of four. I'm going to stick with that assumption.

    "It's cute that you are trying to call me the obsessive"
    You once left 7 comments over a 7 hour period. The proof is all right here. It's funny watching you try to deny it.

    "I walked away"
    You did a great job of that. How many more times will you walk away? You'll keep coming back.

    Will the title of your Lifetime movie be "I'm No One's Victim", or "Not without My Cherry Ass"?

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  157. Holy shit how many times have you read this?? What do you want John? What are you trying to say? You aren't really saying a lot. Do you want me to tell you that you are so very special? Do you want your friends to know I exist? Whatever. You don't exist in my reality so it really doesn't matter. You have deduced so many interesting things that don't matter as well.To what point? So now I know you share some mutual friends who I tell things to. Ok. We know John has spent a rather large amount of time asking around about me. Great. Whatever. John has a blog to vent his frustrations about people he likes. Amazing. John pours over this conversation way more than he should. No one's recall is that amazing. John thinks he needs to trick me into getting his needs met. Not really. Do you know why I am patient with you? I still have no idea what you are really trying to accomplish.

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  158. I have a present for you. Did you get good research? I could never care for someone who is afraid to admit to me who they are-not as in the way of a a silly pen name.Actually your nonsense is the last thing I needed. You are useless as well. So, you are upset you can't afford to cash in cans for a $5 show or are you sad you were a few years late to a private house party? ah well.

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  159. Beansie Beansie Beansie, 4:17am is a peculiar time to be up conjuring hate and making nonsense. Does that time fall right after your feeding with your special needs caregiver?

    -jr

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  160. "Holy shit how many times have you read this??"
    Double question marks to show how excited you are. You're quite the bard. It's not that hard to remember your biggest flops.

    "What do you want John?"
    To watch you embarrass yourself with your gibberish and contradictions. You've given me much amusement.

    "You have deduced so many interesting things that don't matter as well"
    So then you're no longer denying the thrice divorced mother of four? She must be relieved.

    "We know John has spent a rather large amount of time asking around about me"
    You just can't let this espionage fantasy go.

    "John pours over this conversation way more than he should."
    Says the person who once spent 7 hours leaving 7 comments.

    "No one's recall is that amazing"
    That's just your pathetic attempt to avoid explaining your contradictions and obsessiveness.

    "Do you know why I am patient with you?"
    7 comments over a 7 hour period is your idea of patience?

    13 hours after leaving one comment, you had to come back to leave another at 4AM. Are you still trying to deny that you're obsessive?

    "I could never care for someone who is afraid to admit to me who they are-not as in the way of a a silly pen name."
    7 comments over a 7 hour period proves that you care a lot.

    "you are upset you can't afford to cash in cans for a $5 show"
    I'm upset that my blog is all you have to live for. Are you upset that there's someone out there who doesn't fawn over and worship the same crowd that you do?

    -Sincerely,
    Orville/John

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  161. That's all you've got? I like when an idiot blog fawns and worships.very cute.

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  162. we really are a group of fucked up super artists. say yes to it.

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  163. Hi Beansie. Did you miss me while I was away?

    "we really are a group of fucked up super artists"
    What's with the "we"? Don't flatter yourself.

    "and get a job."
    Says the person who had enough time to comment 7 times in 7 hours.

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  164. No new ideas of your own? Just repeat what others say and critique it, that is sure to succeed! Much love. XO BYE. XO. much love. stop being an idiot. you can acclimate and feel better. I have to move on now. I wish you had these conversations with me in person but repeat my words to me again and remind me why that could never happen. keep thinking, just try to make a show about things that matter more than this. :( frownie face for a weirdo. Do you like making people feel icky for you?

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  165. I do have a priceless gem for you. Usually when people think that they are smarter than everyone, they are usually lacking common sense. Just sayin'. You poor creature. I apologize.

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  166. 1 comment to say goodbye, 2 to welcome yourself back. Way to go Beansie!!! I think that is the quickest contradiction yet!

    -jr

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  167. ew. shut up. You're icky. You make this less fun for me.

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  168. Let me explain something to you BJ, the reason I pick on John is because he took the trouble to ask me to. As far as I'm concerned you are just a strange, gross, creepy barnacle. :)

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  169. "XO BYE. XO."
    How many times have said that now?

    "Do you like making people feel icky for you?"
    Your obsession that led you to make 7 comments over a 7 hour period is far creepier than anything I've done here.

    "oh, fuck you."
    Such a poet laureate.

    "Usually when people think that they are smarter than everyone"
    I don't think I'm smarter than everyone, just smarter than you.

    "I pick on John"
    I thought you were an abuse victim who cries at every utterance of the word "retard"?

    Since I know you'll be back in spite of the fact that you said you wouldn't, I'll just say this preemptively:
    Welcome back Beansie!

    -Sincerely,
    John

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  170. You finally got one thing right. It only took you a year. I never completely abandon my bitch boys. I keep them on a shelf and dust them off when I get bored. I have a collection. Do you run in packs now? This is getting too easy. I will promise you this, if I come across any black hearted, deluded girls with enough folds for you to comfort yourself with I will be sure to send her your way. You really did me a giant favor. If I had any idea how stupid you really were I would have been hugely disappointed.

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  171. Welcome back Beansie! I knew you couldn't stay away, and I knew you'd have a feeble excuse for your return.

    "This is getting too easy."
    In the 16 days since your last comment, you came back here many times but didn't comment until now. You must have spent 16 days thinking really hard to come up with a response, and the best you could come up with was "bitch boys" and "deluded girls with enough folds"? Doesn't seem like it was very easy for you. How many people did you have to consult with? Will the thrice divorced mother of four resent you after the "folds" remark? Did you make any headway on your Lifetime Channel script, or your abuse counseling during the holiday weekend?

    -Sincerely,
    John

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  172. BTW Jon, I wasn't bagging on the girls I was bagging on you. You don't like challenge. You pick on sweet women who look like they are so happy for the attention. How do they feel later? I somehow doubt that you were as honest with them as I was you. You didn't like getting used for your dick did you? How do those girls feel later?

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  173. I prey on predators because all of them but you understand the rules.

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  174. Snap out of it Beansie, we're over here now:
    http://brokeindetroit.blogspot.com/2011/12/advisement-and-warning.html

    With all of your sharp "hunting" skills, you still seem to have gotten lost.

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  175. Keep up the drug dealer look, I hear it's hot for spring. Nice tat. . forever.. .is that so you don't forget your name when you contract an STD?

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  176. BTW you are another run of the mill computer jockey (I prefer the term knob jockey) . Make sure to re-quote me because you have nothing of your own to say. Other than all of the attention you have been giving me which I cannot claim to resist, I really and endearingly wanted you to be smart and special. . I was wrong. *
    **I left the window open and re-commented on it!!!!!
    You can tell your readers(???) that this is (anything?)

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  177. Well Beansie, you're certainly no run of the mill computer jockey yourself if you're on here on Christmas morning. Are you waiting for the Ghost of Christmas Future to show you how bad your "art" will still be in your final days?

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  178. pfft. too late joker, I am all over the place probably more than your penis. HA! tnx for setting that up, I actually spit on the screen.

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  179. You're not really making any sense, but do you actually think a guy will be insulted by telling him that he gets around too much? Doesn't revealing that your "best friend" had a one night stand leave her open to similar attacks? (Albeit, in a society where women are judge more harshly for such things. Unfair, but that's the world we live in.)

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  180. What I really wonder is what the point of this blog nighttime soap was, Jon? What have you spent all of this time trying to say to me? I did not post a blog about your friend and his tits. I thought you were fun to talk to. When I met you, I knew that every thing you said to me was a lie or half truth. I wanted to spend that minute with you anyway. But I will never feel bad for not giving my whole heart to someone who is lying to me. Settled? Have you unearthed some new way to say awful things about me because I spent a minute of my time near you? Once, In the fall of 2010.

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  181. The point? To amuse myself. This post in particular has paid off very well.

    Please say more bout that fateful day in 2010. I'm sure everyone wants to know the story.

    -Sincerely,
    Jon/John/Orville

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  182. No one wants to see that porn Jon, didn't you get that message? but really stop acting like you didn't ask for the attention. I don't mind, I'm bored too. Sincerely, anonymous.

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  183. Beansie, this is the internet. There will never be a shortage of demand for porn of any kind.

    -Sincerely,
    Jon/John/Orville

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  184. You once said you had numbers for this, it might be time to check them I'm suddenly concerned.

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    Replies
    1. I have no idea what this refers to, but it's nice to have you back Beansie.

      Delete