Tuesday, March 1, 2011

A Band’s Guide to the 2011 Metrotimes Blowout

Last year I wrote a highly informative post instructing bands on how they should conduct themselves during the Blowout. Everyone writes guides for the spectators, but they never think of the bands. It once again falls on me to perform this labor.

Last year you took my advice and properly demonstrated your disdain for an event you think is unworthy of your time. It’s now time for you to graduate to the next level. You must schedule a show for the same weekend as the Blowout at a venue that’s not affiliated with it. Take a limited audience that’s already stretched thin by an abundance of venues, and stretch it even further. Make all your friends choose between you and the bands that will be playing the Blowout. You can even take it up a notch by making them take loyalty oaths before the weekend. Any one who refuses should immediately be considered a traitor, and excommunicated from your circle of influence.

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