Did you make it to the Blowout? Every band, and every single thing there was great. There wasn't anything bad at all. Nothing whatsoever. On that rare occasion that someone had to hear something they didn't like, it's only because the performers were either too young or too old to be a part of the listener's social circle.
Back in reality, where standards aren't relative, something awful happened Friday night. All-around swell guy Tonio David Dace decided that he wanted more in life. Proving a slew of awful stereotypes full time just wasn't fulfilling the potential that was only hinted at in his motto, "I FUCK HOES N GET MONEY". His charm just wasn't enough to enable him to accomplish his harem fantasy, in keeping with the first part of his motto. To rectify this, he kidnapped three young women attending the Blowout, who had just gotten out of The Painted Lady and into their van, so that he could sexually assault them (a fourth woman got away). In keeping with the second part of his motto, he later urged one of his victims to get money out of an ATM, which provided the opportunity for police to catch him. (Source)
Since I didn't provide "A Band's Guide to the Metrotimes Blowout" this year, I'll provide an aftermath guide for various parties
- To the media in general: In keeping with the ethical standards of journalism, you have all refrained from naming the victims. Well done. Go a step farther and refrain from describing the acts which comprised the sexual assault. Unless the victims want to come forward and reveal them, keep it under wraps for the sake of their dignity. (I will not provide the link to make my case. You'll just have to trust me when I say that one outlet went too far in their description)
- To the Metrotimes: You've released two issues since this happened, and you have not yet publicly acknowledged this crime. Put aside your pride for a moment, and remember that you're supposed to disseminate information above all else. Since hundreds of people could talk of nothing else for the following week, your silence is appalling. I'll offer you a compromise. If you can acknowledge that the crime happened, where it happened, and when it happened, you can leave out that the victims were there for your event.
- To the Dace family: Don't say ridiculous things. Telling the media "He didn't do this", and "He was in the wrong place at the wrong time", just makes your family look worse. He was caught in the act. No one is going to believe that three women who had just been horribly victimized felt that it would be a great time to pick up a hitchhiker. Everyone already thinks that you're awful for creating, harboring, and failing to instill morals into a sociopath. While you're at, don't try to give the "innocent until proven guilty" line. The members of the public that have at least half a brain don't need to wait for the judicial system to tell them the obvious. You should just lay low for a few years, and not speak to the media unless you want to express your condolences to the victims.
- To the owner, staff, and regular patrons of The Painted Lady: I understand that it's only natural that you're going to be wracked with thoughts of "It could have been me", of "I could have done something to stop it", but it's not productive or helpful. It can also sound like you're kind of making it about yourself. This tragedy has more to do with the breakdown of the social contract amongst the urban underclass than anything else.
- To people asking for sympathy for completely unrelated events: Don't ask the public for help for relatively trivial problems that only affect you. Real tragedy has a sobering effect on people, and causes them to ponder who in the world really needs help. I realize the timing isn't your fault, and you might have even scheduled something before the horrific crime took place, but maybe you shouldn't exploit the concept of charity for the next few months.
- To the members of the general public that have expressed outrage: Be aware that you barely reacted when two women outside your peer group were kidnapped a few days earlier. They still haven't been found, and kidnapping victims that aren't found alive within 48 hours rarely survive. Many of you lumped the crimes together after the fact, but everyone knows you weren't that motivated until it hit closer to home. As for letter writing campaigns, send them to Wayne County Prosecutor Kim Worthy. Judges are supposed to remain objective, and therefore really shouldn't be reading those types of letters until there is a guilty verdict, and the sentencing hearing is scheduled.
- To the peers of the victims: If you don't have specialized training to counsel this type of victim, don't offer any unless directly asked. Even I know better than to offer any. Also, be more careful about what you're expressing on facebook. Unintended hints were given that might have allowed someone to identify a victim.
- To the young woman who was almost the fourth victim: If anyone even tries to suggest that you should have done more, or hypothesizes on what they would have done in your place, you are entitled to strike, stab, or shoot them. The law doesn't agree, but I'm sure there are scores of sympathetic people willing to collude and provide an alibi for you.
This doesn't belong under the heading of a guide, so it doesn't deserve a bullet point. I know the chances are slim that one of the victims are one of my five readers, but I'd like to express something to them anyways: I'm so sorry this happened to you. Multiple governmental institutions, and maybe even American society at large failed to prevent this. (Also, don't scroll down any further. This post ends with an image you might not be ready to look at)
As we all wait impatiently for the wheels of justice, we'll have to settle for this:
You also have the option of getting yourself thrown into Wayne County Jail on some pretense, just for the opportunity of punching this walking colostomy bag in the face.