Wednesday, May 30, 2012

More Links to Things That You've Already Read

Several months ago I made a post about a new blog that mocks Detroit hipsters. Then it wasn't updated for several months, and I forgot about it. Then it came back for a little while. Here's a little nugget of gold that I wish I had seen earlier:
"Now those of you who are reading this post of mine may be wondering just who the hell I am, and what gives me the right to take such a haughty opinion of others.  Simply, I am an anonymous alter-ego.  A faceless outlet for someone who prefers to remain in the shadows and sling insults from the peanut gallery in order to puncture certain egos and inflated heads when seemingly no one else has the guts or the sense to, through irresponsible and inflammatory offhanded ranting.  Cowardly?  Perhaps.  Hypocritical?  Maybe.

But am I not dead-on target?"
The first rule of Night Market is "You do not talk about Night Market". Then maybe the second rule should be "Don't invite someone from the Detroit News to do a story about Night Market". I guess it must be hard to abide by the second rule if your main goal is to make people jealous with your "secretive, insider-y air".

One more reason not to hang out in downtown Royal Oak.

Maybe Brett Callwood is more obsessed with Amy Gore than I am.

The Tashmoo Biergarten was reopened for one weekend and I missed it. Now when will I be able to combine beer and picnic tables?

Thursday, May 24, 2012

My Lastest Excretion of Links

In a rare example of good judgement, which we're not accustomed to seeing around here, the marshmallow awning by Circa 1890 is finally coming down.

Media consolidation is the #1 reason that radio stations suck so bad. WRIF isn't owned by Clear Channel or Cumulus, so what's their excuse?

Red Bull House of Art Detroit; because nothing showcases the best that humanity has to offer better than Red Bull. Keep a look out for the Scion Shakespeare Company, and the Axe Body Spray Holocaust Memorial.

When the media isn't reporting on things that make us look pathetic, it's reporting on things that make us look ridiculous.

Amy Gore still posts awesome stuff.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Regurgitation is the Sincerest Form of Flattery

This idea of posting links doesn't work well if I slack off. Good thing I don't do this for a living.

A while back Laura did her own take on a piece Esquire did called  "75 Albums Every Man Should Own". She did it better, so don't bother reading what Esquire wrote.

So first Detroit was called a new hipster capital, and the hipsters' response was, "Detroit is all played out now, let's leave". A recently published list of "America's Best Cities for Hipsters" doesn't mention Detroit at all. They came up with a list of 35 cities, and with much relief, we were spared. Naturally this means that Detroit is the only place left with hipster cred, so they'll all start coming back again.

The Metrotimes put out their Best of Detroit issue, and it has more than enough bullshit to make you vomit all over your keyboard. (I warned you, so continue reading at your own risk)
"For a while now the Loving Touch has been something of a scenester's hub — we say that lovingly."
What a brilliant way to state an obvious truth, while still doing enough ass-kissing to keep the advertising dollars coming in. Does that place still have to reset the circuit breaker whenever they try to power a sound system?
"Slows Bar BQ is out 'cause it's packed with overfed baseball fans from Howell."
Yeah, it's that uncool crowd all wearing similar sports apparel that ruins the place. Blame them, not the other crowd of people all wearing transparently self-conscious faux-bohemian styles that are there on all the other nights.
"The WAB is the punk rock Cheers." "With the Loving Touch nearby, the vibe of the whole place is very punk rock in the sense that it's inviting and warm like a UK local..."
The WAB is about as punk rock as The Gap. Anything that's inviting isn't punk.

I can't stop myself from piling on the Metrotimes. Michael Jackman wrote a scathing rebuke of a piece that Details Magazine did about Detroit. The original article ends with a list of five Corktown businesses to check out. Three of them are on the same block, and are either owned by the Cooleys, or have their space rented to them by the Cooleys. A fourth is just across the street. An article truly worthy of scorn, and since Details isn't local, the Metrotimes staff doesn't piss themselves when they so much as contemplate printing the rebuke. Of course they still have to kiss the asses of the local people that were mentioned.

Graffiti artists from around the country are starting to converge here. They're attracted by the lowered likelihood of arrest, and the surplus of neglected buildings. We can now see what the kids are trying to imitate, and we're starting to get new murals. Will there be a race to cut them out of the walls? Will the people living right next to it be able to tolerate art tourists?