Sunday, October 20, 2013

The Blame Game


We have a problem. So called "victims" can't be allowed to ruin everything for us by telling us what happens outside of our music venues.

If you think that you're a victim of a crime that happened outside of a local music venue, don't go whining about it, because you probably aren't. I'm going to give you some helpful tips in the event that you were stupid enough to cross the path of a criminal.

If you insist on speaking out about it at all, first consult the venue owners. Their interests are more important than whatever petty "quality of life" issues you just can't cope with.
Get the minor details right. Standing outside one corner of the building is so diametrically different than standing in front of the other corner, that it completely changes all context.
As for you third parties, do you think that blabbing to the whole world makes you some kind of concerned citizen? It doesn't. It just makes you some nosey busybody. How do you expect local businesses to thrive if the public is well informed?

27 comments:

  1. What happened to all the rape jokes? I hope the Dickies show goes better. It must feel all warm and fuzzy when an entire bar turns on the people who support them as opposed to paying for more security. I was just informed the crime wave has entered Pleasant Ridge. Are you trying to get my attention? You have very interesting timing. Hey though, if you're a broke looking drunk guy your friends will have you covered. Hey, wait a minute. .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Everything I do, I do it for you" -Bryan Adams

      Delete
  2. I know darling. Be safe out there and don't drink the kool aid.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll lay off the kool-aid, so long as you agree to lay off the boxed wine.

      Delete
  3. I put kool aid in the boxed wine. Next level shit.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Actually, it's Hawaiian Punch.

    ReplyDelete
  5. On top of your sources much? I thought that was. . Hey, wait a minute. .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I lost my decoder ring years ago, so this doesn't make any sense.

      Delete
  6. That's because I stole it. If you want it back I have a list of demands. I will require a helicopter and two leather bags full of money. I have a secret location to be at within the next 48 hours to complete my mission.

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  7. 72, what day is today?

    ReplyDelete
  8. The pilot has been injured. The area is surrounded by armed enemies. My shoulder has been grazed but I have all intention of making it out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Initiate self-destruct.

      Oh yeah, you did that years ago.

      Delete
  9. At least I have my finger on the button. It has officially been three years my blogger friend. What more would you like to talk about? Are you mad about my two day boyfriend??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You've got your finger somewhere alright, but it certainly isn't on any button.

      Three years? Does that make this your longest relationship?

      Delete
  10. And let's be really honest, no matter how gory and gruesome the last few years have been knowing what I know now, could you imagine how much worse my life would be still married to that evil man?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You being married was probably bad for everybody.

      Delete
  11. I hate to report this but the divorce was very bad for me. I didn't want to share the misery. Cheers! whatever you're up to.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I told you I wasn't your type.

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  13. Thanks for gave us helpfil tips in the event that you were stupid enough to cross the path of a criminal. DTW Taxi services always availabe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You must be pretty desperate if to shill your shitty taxi company if you're doing it on this blog.

      Delete
  14. Hamtramck has a habit of pulling over and ticketing outside taxi companies. Thanks for the helpful tips from the yellow pages.

    ReplyDelete