Friday, November 8, 2013

Bottoms Up

We're getting some more national media attention. Anthony Bourdain is going to air an episode of his show Sunday night that's devoted solely to Detroit, and it's going to include our favorite pseudo-journalist. I know that you're just as giddy about this as I am. Decades later, the airing of this episode will be seen as the tipping point in Detroit's comeback story. In honor of this momentous event, I've created the Bourdain in Detroit Drinking Game.

Whenever you hear the word "creative" used, take a shot.

If anyone on the show uses the phrase "blank slate", take a shot.

If Brandon Walley, or anything associated with him shows up, put some money in a paper bag and light it on fire.

If Bourdain stands in front of the Joe Louis fist during filming, take a shot.

If the American/Lafayette debate is brought up, take a shot.

If Bourdain visits an "urban farm", take a shot. If he visits an "urban farm" and fails to mention the likely presence of lead in the soil of older American neighborhoods, take a shot of drano.

If Bourdain appears at the Tashmoo Biergarten, you have to do something conventional, and then pretend that you actually just did something revolutionary.

If Bourdain shows up at the grave of a music legend and pretends to have unique insight on the deceased, take a shot.

If Bourdain takes a tour of ruin porn, but pretends that he's not like every other outsider who parachutes into the city to gape at ruin porn, punch a hipster in the face, and take a shot.

If Bourdain fails to give John Carlisle credit for finding a story first, remember that Carlisle is used to it by now, and take a shot.

If Banksy is mentioned when Bourdain visits the Packard plant, take a shot.

If Bourdain explains the 8 Mile divide to the viewers, take a shot.

If Bourdain goes to Eastern Market and inspects raw meat, take a shot of bacon grease.

If Phil Cooley or Slow's BBQ makes an appearance, punch yourself in the crotch.


  1. someone do an actually tally here? i think bourdain himself is probably only guilty of visiting the urban farm here. maybe the ruin porn thing too.

    1. He made sure to take about "creative" types. That was while B-roll of white hipsters in Corktown was being shown to us, naturally.

      There was the Carlisle thing, but that was almost a given after the teaser-trailers were released.

      Overall, he did better than most outsiders would have done.